Attack by The Kids' Liberation Front Foiled!

I recently received a public service e-mail from Atlanta correspondent cousin Josie about how her Mom foiled an attacked by a copperhead snake. The e-mail explained how to identify the copperhead and then how to call a parent to beat it with a shovel. That was a very helpful e-mail.

I now need to post my own public service notice for the benefit of all parents about how I foiled, single-handedly, a water balloon attack by the Kids' Liberation Front (the "KLF").

As you can see from the picture above, the KLF first built an impressive arsenal of water balloons. Don't be cowed parents; you can defeat them!


The KLF then sang boasts over their cache. As you will soon see, however, their boasts all came to naught.

This series of pictures pretty much demonstrates how the battle went for the KLF. They first attacked with great enthusiasm.

They were drawn into a trap by my strategic retreat.

At the end of the lawn the KLF fighters were forced to throw their water balloons after having exhausted themselves running across it. But, oh no! Dad was too quick. The throws were usually dodged, or sometimes caught (as was the case here).

And, if I caught the balloon, an immediate and accurate counter-attack was the result.

This lack of success on the part of the KLF didn't, however, slow down the boasts from the KLF's second in command . . .

Or the smack talk from the KLF's leader.

In the end, they ran out of ammunition and hunkered down in their hide-out to discuss what to do next.

But, they didn't foresee Dad discovering their hideout or his ingenious re-purposing of broken balloons.

Another direct hit!

So, out of water balloons, the KLF reverted to their usual tickle tactics (which, I assure you, also failed).

So, all Dads and Moms out there, if you are under attack from the local branch of the KLF in your neighborhood, please give me a call and I will be able to advise you on successful counter-KLF tactics.